NAVIGATING ACROSS BABY GROUP FLOORS
To anyone else the floor of a toddler group just looks like a fun place where your little one can burn off energy and make new friends. A Mum with MS will think this too but also “Oh my God, look at all this stuff (including mini humans) which I will need to navigate across and not fall!!!”
When you have MS balance issues a baby group isn’t an ideal place to test out how your brain lesions are faring
And don’t get me started on trying to get a cup of tea back to your chair!! A re-useable screw top cup is the best way forward in this situation!
MAKE SURE YOU USE REINS OR KEEP TODDLER IN BUGGY
I know toddlers are not always a fan of these ways of child control but unless your child will listen and react to their parent’s orders of “stop!” “come back!” and “get away from that road” (spoiler: until they are about 5 they won’t!) then unfortunately some restraint is needed.
I know some people with MS can run but personally I can’t do this and not having this ability makes parenting toddlers even harder.
USE BUGGY FOR STABILITY
I actually really miss the days of using a buggy. Alright maybe not the having to lug it in and out of my car boot and sometimes catching my hands in it while putting the thing up and down, but actually having a buggy was so helpful!
It can be used to carry bags, to help walk quickly and stably and to lean on when you’ve been stood up for too long and your back is hurting.
Okay so it’s basically a young age acceptable Zimmer frame!!
God, I miss our buggies.
ONLY PLAN ONE OUTDOOR TRIP A DAY
Fatigue is a real thing where MS, and many other chronic illnesses, is concerned so it’s important to consider the Spoon Theory when planning your day.
If you have a toddler group to attend just do that that day. If a trip to the supermarket is necessary make that your one trip of the day.
Don’t feel that you really should be doing more if you know that you can’t manage more. There is always a way to make your daily activity educational/fun/learning a life skill.
PICK YOUR BATTLES
Similarly, saving your energy can apply to how your children are in the home. Of course I’m not talking about things like safety or manners but when it comes to them making mess during baking or drawing for example, just look past the inconvenience and let it go!
USE A DIARY BOARD
Thanks to MS brain fog it is so important that I write everything down! I have a little white board in the kitchen to note down what each of us are up to and what we are eating for dinner each day.
As well as that I add Outlook reminders for everything and constant to do lists.
ENCOURAGE CHILDREN TO BE INDEPENDENT
Encourage your children to be helpful. This has two benefits: your children will feel more grown up having tasks like load the dishwasher, dusting or tidy up toys. Plus by doing the tasks it takes the pressure off of you to always be on the go.
“helpful” can also be simply putting on their own coat or passing you the things you need.
TRY TO REDUCE STANDING TASKS WITH BABY
If standing for long periods of time is difficult try to adapt how you are with your baby.
When I had babies, I made sure that I changed nappies on a mat on the floor. This was both safer and easier on my back and legs.
BE HONEST WITH CHILDREN ANOUT MS BUT DON’T CATASTOPHISE
When my children started becoming little people who notice things and ask questions my mind turned to “do I tell them about my MS?”
Of course the answer has to be if your MS is obvious to the children (trips, walking difficulties, low energy) then something has to be explained. This explanation needs to be age appropriate and gentle.
My 4 year old know that “Mummy has poorly legs” and my 8 year old knows that I have MS and that makes my legs not work properly. Right now, that is enough for them.
I don’t know what other questions they will ask as they get older but gentle honesty and not catastrophising will be my approach. Joke about things such as how Mummy might be unsteady on her feet and can be forgetful. Try not to pass on too much negativity about the condition.
It’s so important that they are reminding of all the things Mummy can do and of the positive and fun things they do with Mummy.
BREASTFEEDING IS AMAZING!
New-borns’ are exhausting so, if you are able to breastfeed, take the pressure off you with preparing bottles and sit down, relax and let your baby feed for however long they need.
Many a time I would get home after a baby group, flake out on the sofa and latch the baby on. I then had much needed peace and quiet for 10 minutes, half an hour, hell my babies used to cluster feed in the evening for up to an hour!!
The same recommendation works well at night too. Why does anyone want to get out of bed at 2am to make a bottle when you could just stay in your slumber and latch a baby on?!
The Kids, Me and MS 