I had never been aware of autism in my single person life. I knew about Rain Man and that autism could lead to people having learning difficulties but other than that autism hadn’t been significant in my life.
Wow how that has changed!!
I think the first time it cropped up in conversation was when my eldest was around 2 years old and was in a children’s centre. She was not an easy toddler (are any toddlers easy?!), lots of scrapping with other children and not following my instructions.
While my daughter was sitting quietly on her own at the children’s centre one of the assistants there commented to me that Molly was staring into space and that this is sometimes a sign of autism with small children. She wasn’t telling me this to worry me of course, just something to keep an eye on.
At the time I just thought that this lady had recently heard it on some course or other and I told myself that’s it’s nothing to be concerned about.
I now know that this lady has an autistic son of her own and she has more experience of autism that I first realised.
I didn’t think anything about this until Molly was at Primary school. One of the other Mums there had autistic children herself so was very aware of the symptoms. She mentioned to me that Molly tended to jump up and down while clapping quite a lot. I just thought “Oh that’s what Molly does. She quite excitable!”.
Encouraged by my friend I applied to CAMHS (Children and Mental Health Services) to see what their opinions was. They wrote back and informed me that the school were helping Molly with confidence boosting workshops and SEN lessons, so there isn’t much else they can help with.
Nothing much was said about her possible autism until a couple of years later at her new primary school (due to us moving house).
The SEN and Inclusion teacher at a parent teacher evening mentioned that she personally thought that Molly was autistic due to her anxiety, dislike of loud noises and general distraction.
I could have cried when she said that! Someone else could see what I could see!
She went on to help me fill the forms out for continued CAMHS support.
We are still waiting to have an assessment but we have communication.
While this was happening, I started having my concerns about my other daughter. She has always been a lovely little thing and I just assumed this was how a neurotypical child is! However, she did have some super sensory symptoms going on!
I spoke to the Paediatric Dept at our local hospital and we are currently waiting for an assessment.
For many years I have suspected that my husband has autistic traits.
After initially discussing with him about potential mental health issues he spoke to his doctor and began SSRIs. This made his life easier but it still felt like something wasn’t quite right.
After the girls began their assessment journey Colin started thinking that maybe he should look into this for himself.
He began by being referred by his GP to an online NHS assessment. This was via zoom calls with an Nurse. After these calls, he had feedback that he has the Asperger’s form of autism.
It then became much clearer that certainly Molly shared many symptoms with her Dad.
I initially wondered why giving my daughters a potential label could possibly be a positive thing. However, it has helped us as parents in so many ways.
Although we have yet to get diagnoses it helps to explain behaviour such as difficulties sleeping, anxiety and difficulty “fitting in”, obsessive interests, both love and wariness of food and if either say that a place is too bright or noisy, we know why they are saying this.
Hopefully in time this can open up more help at school and certainly a diagnosis before secondary school will be help massively.
When it came to Colins diagnoses he expressed relief after all these years and that he no longer has to feel that he should hide who he is.
I would say that the most significant thing I personally have learned from is that I’m not actually a bad parent!
I would question why my children would run off despite being told not to, why they wouldn’t eat their food and why my child was always the one who would cover themselves in paint!!
Although autism can sometimes be difficult to live alongside, my family each have some amazing talents, interests and knowledge.
This is who they all are and they are amazing.
The Kids, Me and MS 